Bottom of the Bottle
by Haruka's Knight
Summary: Not sure what to say. Mature rating. No nudity or sex Slight AU. COMPLETE
1. Bottom of the Bottle

**Warning: Slightly Alternate Universe**

**  
Bottom of the Bottle**

**By: Haruka's Knight**

It was funny in some ways, really it was. The tall blonde sat astride her motorcycle, parked not far from the edge of a cliff, and watched calmly through her sunglasses as the sky was painted vivid colors by the dieing sun. Years ago she'd thought she would never again find herself her, not this physical place but more this point in life. She had feared her destiny, she had tried to run, but once she had embraced it she'd almost wanted to thank someone for giving her a partner like Michiru. It took time, and work on both parts, but they had come to a point where the blonde had truly believed they no longer had any secrets from each other.

And now Haruka had ruined that. Oh it wasn't apparent at first, it was noticeable at first. A small breach and it was revealed that the tall blonde had feelings for her shorter friend. At the time it had been nothing, both to busy for anything regardless. And once things settled Michiru had been kind about explaining that she didn't return her friend's feelings. Things had still been great after that, even with the mild torture of sharing an apartment with your unrequited love. But now that had all gone down the drain.

**One month earlier:**

Haruka walked through the door with a cocky grin on her face, slipping her shoes off as she entered. She quirked an eyebrow at the extra pair of shoes which sat by the door but shrugged. Before she could take a step further Setsuna popped out of the kitchen door and blocked the blonde's path, almost as if the time guardian had been waiting for her.

"Haruka, just the women I was waiting for." Setsuna took a hold of the wind senshi's arm and pulled her back toward the door, speaking as quietly as possible. "I was hoping you could drive me to the store, we need some stuff for dinner tonight."

"Okay, I guess that's fine." Haruka started before the heard Michiru's voice from the other room. The wind senshi raised and eyebrow and glanced at Setsuna. "I thought Michiru left for a concert this morning."

"Um, she postponed it." Setsuna gave a sigh as the other senshi walked off toward the living room and poked her head around the doorframe. It wasn't long before Haruka returned to the door and pulled her shoes back on, a concerned Michiru not far behind.

"Haruka what's wrong with you? You didn't even say hi?" Michiru asked but received only a glare from her taller partner as a young man emerged from the living room as well. He grinned and waved at the taller racer with a smug look. "Haruka speak."

"Setsuna, did you actually need anything from the store?" The blonde ignored both the man and her partner. The time guardian shook her head and watched sadly as Haruka walked back out with out further comment.

Haruka doubted Setsuna was surprised when the two other women were woken by a phone call later that night. The blonde noticed that only Setsuna picked her up from the police station, and that the other sent her worried looks. As they entered Michiru shook her head at the tall blonde, asking her if she felt good about picking on the poor man. The blonde finally snapped, in reality for the second time that night, and yelled at the violin player before retreating to her own room.

**Present time:**

Haruka sighed as she started her gold bike's engine and wheeled it around to face back toward the street. Though in outward appearance the two had forgiven each other nothing was the same. Michiru and Haruka hardly spoke to one another and Haruka all but didn't speak to any of the younger scouts. The blonde began to have nightmares, constantly involving to things she'd come to dread seeing: Michiru and alcohol. As this thought came back to her she quickly peeled down the narrow road and toward the city streets of Tokyo.

Haruka had always had this fear during her current life. She'd been lucky enough that her father had given up alcohol before her birth, but had still been told the stories. Had come to learn that all of his family had had a problem with controlling themselves when it came to such substances. In fact Michiru was one of very few that knew Haruka's brother had died, or more correctly knew he'd existed. He'd gone from drinking to drugs and over dosed sometime while the two were searching for the talismans. Haruka had always escaped her fears by taking to the track or to the streets, racing the wind. The few times she simply could not shake fears she spoken to Michiru.

Now she no longer felt she could speak to the violin player, and in fact felt she was part of the problem. No amount of fresh air or breaking of traffic laws was helping the blonde this time. The nightmares only increased and so did that insistent voice in the back of her mind. That voice that said one drink wouldn't hurt, that nothing bad could happen. Haruka opened up the throttle on her bike, ignoring the flashing lights that appeared in her side mirror. The police cruiser had no chance of catching her.

**At the home of the four outer scouts:**

Setsuna silently sat in a chair, her eyes skimming over the text of a very old book as Hotaru watched an anime on the large TV. The two sat in complete silence until Michiru strode into the living room. Two pairs of eyes looked up to the clearly perturbed sensei of the sea as set her violin carefully on the table before glaring at a picture on the wall. Setsuna followed her line of sight and winced as she spotted a picture of Haruka there.

"Hotaru-chan." She spoke with false calm and the young teen shut off the TV and stood form the couch. Her violet eyes shot a quick look toward Setsuna and the two exchanged a worried glance. Michiru continued. "Don't you have something you should be studying?"

"I could go read over my English assignment Michiru-mama." Hotaru said quietly as she edged toward the door. Michiru was nodding, seeming to no longer see the girl as her eyes landed on the oldest housemate. Setsuna nodded and Hotaru all but dashed up the staircase and away from two of her three guardians.

"Where is she?" Michiru questioned, her eyes on Setsuna even as the woman stared down into her book.

"If you mean Haruka, I truly have no idea." Setsuna said in a steady voice as she place a book ark on her page and set the book aside. She looked up and met the smoldering eyes of the sea senshi. "I hate to point this out, Michiru-chan, but Haruka is your partner not mine."

"I know something is wrong with her Suna." Michiru finally said as she sat heavily on the couch. She noticed the look Setsuna was giving her and waved one elegant hand toward the picture she'd earlier glared at. "I have known something wasn't right for a while. I don't understand why she's mad, I should be the one who was insulted."

"Do you really believe that?" Setsuna said simply. Michiru looked back toward her with surprise written in those deep blue eyes. Setsuna stood and began to pace slowly back and forth. "Do you really think all this is jealousy over some ex-boyfriend who isn't worth anyone's time of day?"

"Setsuna." Michiru began in a warning tone but was cut off as the older senshi stopped pacing and glared at her. Michiru fell silent and waited for the clearly irked woman to speak.

"You may think that because you didn't raise your voice that your actions were adult and hurt no one." Setsuna began in a dangerous tone. "But you are horrible mistaken Michiru. Yes Haruka's actions were less than mature but at least she can claim hers stemmed from concern for you and not foolish, childish pride. Haruka's actions that night were not to make herself feel better, those two had been friend's before you dated him, she did what she did because she was concerned for your feelings."

"I can take care of myself, I am an adult after all." Michiru defended as she stood and face the taller woman. She glared a bit as she spoke again. "Just because she thinks she's in love with me doesn't mean I should coddle her feelings."

"Is that what you believe you have been doing?" Setsuna sat back down and shook her head with grim amusement. She looked back toward the still fuming women before her with an amazed look on her face. "She told you everything, opened up fully to you when he would not for anyone else and you still can't understand her. You still feel the need to hide your feelings from her. Haruka may be depressed far more often then she lets on but at least she tried."

"What are you talking about?" Michiru asked, exasperated with the whole topic. "It's not like she's having any serious problems right now, she is just being herself and expecting me to come ask her what's wrong like always."

"If that's true why can't you find her?" Setsuna's simple statement struck Michiru in a manner the artist hadn't experienced. Red eyes regarded the younger woman before her. "She is pulling away and when I tried to point it out to you said she was just dwelling. Michiru, she hasn't even been home some nights while you were gone."

"Where did she go?"

"That's what Hotaru and I would like to know, but she wont talk." Setsuna picked up her book again but didn't open it. "When she does talk it isn't real, it's like she doesn't trust anyone now. She avoids the inner scouts, smiling when she runs into them and pretending that she is happy to see them before making up some story about having to do something or another and running off. They can buy it but those of us who live with her can tell."

"If something is wrong she must have talked to one of you." Michiru began to brush it off and stood. Before she could leave the living room however Setsuna spoke again.

"Actually, you're the only one she ever told her problems to."

**Somewhere across Tokyo:**

Haruka stepped through the door of the biker bar and strolled over to the bar. She took a seat on one of the stoles as she removed her glasses and set the on the wooden counter top. The bartender looked up at her with recognition and she nodded to the man. A dark glass bottle was set in front of her with its black label facing her.

"Seems like a waist." Someone commented next to her. She spared a glance at the man on the next stole as he eyed her drink. "Jack Daniel's colas aren't just some beer. Every time to you come in here you order one, and you stare at for hours sometimes and then you leave. It's a waist."

"Have it." Was the only response she gave as she stood and placed some yen on the counter top before grabbing her glasses. The confused man was still staring at the drink as she walked out the door into the cool night air.

Mounting again her bike Haruka took off toward home. She pulled up outside the house after a short ride and climbed off her bike. As she opened the door she could hear violin music coming from the living room, though the tune stopped as she shut the front door.

"Haruka, please come here." Michiru called. Haruka shrugged out of her jacket and walked into the living room still wearing her dark shades. She waited for the other woman to speak. Michiru sounded a bit uncertain as she spoke. "Where'd you go?"

"Out." Haruka responded with no malice or really any feeling to her voice.

"Oh." Michiru paused and searched for a topic to open up a conversation with her friend. She nodded toward some sheet music sitting on the table. "I was wondering if you'd go over my new composition with me."

"Maybe some other time, I'm a bit tired." Haruka spoke. Noticing the somewhat dejected look in the blue eyes she removed her glasses and decided to test the waters just a bit. With her glasses off dark circles were visible below her eyes and Michiru sucked in a breath at the sight. Teal eyes were blood shot and the taller woman had obviously been losing sleep over something. "Was there anything else?"

"No, that's it. I guess I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah." Haruka agreed, feeling as if they were on different continents as she strode from the room. It was clear that Michiru could no longer see when things were wrong with her tall partner, and Haruka didn't feel inclined to inform her anymore. She reached her room and locked the door before falling into bed fully clothed.

Down in the living room Michiru wanted to run after the tall blonde and say yes they there was more. That they needed to talk about what was going on. Michiru was desperately holding to her resolve that Setsuna was wrong and Haruka was just dwelling. She shook her head, knowing she was wrong but refusing to admit it to even herself. She lifted the violin again to her shoulder and a slow, hauntingly sad tune floated through the house. Somewhere in the house red eyes rolled in exasperation at the actions of two senshi, and elsewhere two violet eyes clouded again with concern.


	2. Ghost of it All

**Ghost of it all:**

_Another race won, there just didn't seem to be any challenge in it anymore.. How could anyone honestly expect to beat the princess of the wind anyway? Haruka strode into the sort of lounge area she shared with her pit crew and waved to the men who sat about the table. One man, Jeremy, the supply guy waved Haruka over and she walked toward the table._

_"Hey there champ, what ya doing?" He said in a way that sounded much like a schoolyard friend or bully. The blonde only raised an eyebrow at him and he smiled. "Ah come on, have a drink with us. How about it?"_

_Haruka began to decline but he held out a bottle of Smirnoff Twisted to her and she felt the familiar surge of curiosity fill her. Slowly, haltingly Haruka reached for the bottle. Finally she held and Jeremy and the others nodded to her, friendly grins on all their faces. Haruka twisted off the cap and stared at the clear contents for a time. She smelled a strong scent of candy with hints of Vodka hiding under the sweet fruity smell. With out taking much longer to think about she slowly brought the bottle to her lips and took a first sip._

_Jeremy's grin seemed to waver as the blonde took a second and much longer swig from the bottle. Teal eyes began to unfocused as Haruka sat down at the table to join the little drinking party._

Haruka's teal eyes snapped open as someone knocked on her door for probably the third time. The blonde was covered in sweat and felt as if her shirt was clinging to her skin. She grumbled and threw her leather jacket into a corner as she walked over and unlocked the bedroom door. She opened it to be met with the hopeful eyes of her adopted daughter.

"I was hoping you'd give me a ride to the mall Haruka-papa." Hotaru turned thirteen year old violet eyes toward her tall guardian in a manner that clearly showed she was not above begging. "And maybe spend sometime with me there."

"Alright, anything you ask Hime-chan." Haruka caught Setsuna smiling down the hall as she glanced over the excited teen's head. With a false smirk she ruffled Hotaru's hair and turned back toward her room. "Let me grab a shower."

Half an hour later the gold motorcycle prowled into a spot next to a red car. Haruka was glad her eyes were hidden behind her glasses again as she rolled them. The inner scouts smiled and called out greetings to the two as Hotaru climbed off the back of the bike and took off her helmet. Haruka got off and quickly hung her daughter's helmet from the handlebars of the bike. The blonde straightened her button down blue shirt over her black slacks and pushed her glasses up a bit more.

"Haruka-san! You came!" Usagi called out happily as she ran over to hug the taller blonde. She smiled happily and looked up toward the hidden teal eyes. "I'm glad you weren't busy, we haven't seen you for more than a minute in a long time."

"Things at the track have been a bit hectic." Haruka spoke with another forced smile as she patted the blonde's head and nodded to the others. She noticed Mamoru giving her an appraising look, but the future king merely nodded. She took this, as his way of saying he'd stay out of it. "Sorry if I neglected my favorite fans."

"That's okay, so long as you get us free tickets to your next race." Minako called happily as she walked over. Haruka soon found herself being pulled toward the door of the mall by two hyper blondes. She glanced back as Mamoru got back in his car.

"He's not sticking around?" Haruka asked, glancing down at Usagi who was hugging her left arm as they walked. The moon princess shook her head with a happy smile.

"Nope, girls day out today." Minako supplied from her other arm. Haruka resisted the urge to ask why she was there rather than Michiru or Setsuna by that logic.

Two hours passed in the same manner. For two hours the six teens and one woman in her early twenties wandered the mall stopping at clothing stores and food places. The inner scouts seemed to not take much notice of the difference in Haruka but Hotaru did. She knew shopping wasn't the tall blonde's pass time, but the lack of any real interest almost scared the youngest senshi. She only saw anything near interest when they passed a display that showed aged cigars and alcohol, and that interest seemed tainted by something else as well.

"Okay, how about a movie?" Makoto suggested, she winked at Hotaru and fell back to whisper to the girl. "What are you worried about?"

"Haruka-papa hasn't been herself recently, she's just acting right now." Hotaru whispered back as the other's, minus Haruka who merely watched behind her shades and Ami who listened silently, argued about what movie to see. Makoto glanced over the blonde quickly before looking back at Hotaru.

"Now that you mention it, it is kind of odd that we're inside and she still hasn't taken off the glasses. And I don't think I've heard her speak in at least an hour." Makoto looked over toward Ami and wasn't surprised when the quiet girl was already walking quietly over to them. "Hey Ames."

"Hotaru, may I ask you a question?" Ami started politely, glancing at the others to be sure no one was listening. When Hotaru nodded she spoke again. "Is something wrong with Haruka, she looks a bit pale?"

"Wow, I didn't catch that." Makoto commented to the two. Ami smiled gently at her taller friend.

"No one has." Hotaru said quietly as she shook her head. She looked into Ami's kind blue eyes and allowed a helpless look to slip. "I don't know what it is, this is the first time in nearly a month any of us have gotten her to come do something."

"She didn't know she was coming did she?" Makoto asked but Usagi calling back to them interrupted any answer.

"Come on guys, you don't want to miss the movie do you?"

As they sat in the dark theater Haruka felt her eyes begin to droop. Sitting on the end of the row, next to the isle, she easily ignored the excited chatter of the two blondes seated in the center. She shook her head to keep her teal eyes open, she didn't want to see those images again so soon. Not just yet.

"Do you girls want soda?" Haruka asked as she stood up, resisting the urge to stretch as she did so. She was met with a barrage of requests that came far too fast for her to understand and she jumped. Her teal eyes were wide behind her sunglasses as she tried to think of a way to remember all that.

"I'll come with you, I know all their usual orders and you'll need help carrying the sodas anyway." Makoto said as she stood and joined Haruka in the isle. Haruka just nodded and started toward the door with Makoto behind her. The two got to concessions and Makoto gave the order before turning to the blonde. "So, how are things?"

"Fine." Was all Haruka said as she pretended to read the overhead menu again. Makoto sighed but allowed her older friend that escape, nothing good would come of trying to force her to talk.

As the sunset Haruka again pulled the golden bike up in front of the outer's house, but this time she stopped at the sidewalk rather than pull into the driveway. She told Hotaru she'd be home later and the younger hopped off the back of the bike. She took off her helmet and turned to look at Haruka for a moment. Before Haruka could say anything or run away from her daughter the girl kissed her cheek and asked her to be careful. Haruka watched until Hotaru safely entered the house and the door shut behind her, then she gunned the motor and was again off into the approaching night.

**Inside the house:**

Setsuna looked up from the vegetables she was chopping as she heard the cry of the motor dieing off into the distance. She glanced toward Michiru who stood near the kitchen table making salad and the two exchanged a look just as Hotaru entered. The teen still held her helmet in her arms as the two women looked at her and she nodded in greeting.

"Hello Setsuna-mama, Michiru-mama." Hotaru paused before she looked toward the floor, unable to meet either adults' eyes at the moment. "Haruka-papa won't be home for dinner, she said she'd be late tonight."

"Thank you, Hotaru." Setsuna smiled at the girl, though Hotaru didn't look back up as she left the kitchen. The time guardian looked again toward Michiru but the other woman shook her head.

"She'll pull herself out of it, Setsuna. She's not my responsibility and this isn't life threatening." Michiru turned back to the salad and almost managed to hide the worry in her own eyes but Setsuna caught a glimpse of it.

**Tokyo streets:**

Haruka Ten'ou hadn't traveled the same circles as her brother. Though she'd looked up to him when they were younger her duty as a senshi had just seemed to sever any remaining links to her family. Now as she rode through the nighttime streets, the wind blowing through her short blonde hair at high speed, those images haunted her. His words echoed in her ears.

_"Someday you're going to have to have a drink or two socially Haruka." He said as his brown eyes watched his younger sister. He smiled a bit as he pulled a few empty alcohol bottles from his closet and began to bag them up for recycling. "You don't have to smoke, and I better not catch you doing drugs, but drinking is just part of growing up."_

_"I don't believe that." Haruka returned as she sat on his bed. She watched him as he grabbed a water bottle and a small bag of white powder. He pulled out a pin, or what used to be one and was now only a tube, and spread the powder across his desk in a line. He sucked the powder into his nose before walking into the bathroom and rinsing the residue off. "Why would it matter if I drink?"_

_"Because, everyone does it. It's not a trend it's just a fact." He repapered from the bathroom and ruffled her hair with his hand. "You don't need to worry about that until high school though. You still have another year, but it's a school night so go get some sleep."_

_Haruka left her brother's room and did her best to ignore the sort of dry hacking sound that over powered him. He was twenty and every time he did one of his lines he'd begin to cough and occasionally get bloody noses. The young blonde shook her head as she went back into her own room and turned on the radio._

That was one of the last nights she'd seen him. The next day she'd had a track meet, one where a certain aqua haired girl had shown up. Haruka opened up the speed a bit more as she reached the city limits and started up a mountain road. Quickly she killed her head light, not caring if on coming vehicles knew she was there or not at this point, and let the darkness swallow her. Wind raced around her and Haruka locked the throttle in place. She removed her hands from the handlebar and spread her arms out, allowing the wind to play with the fabric of her large shirt.

Haruka caught sight of the headlights just as they came around a bend in the road. The blonde instantly had her hands back on the controls, unlocking the throttle and moving quickly out of the large truck's path. The driver never so much as spotted the blonde as her tires lost grip and she ate pavement. He didn't see the bloodied blonde that his wheels missed by mere inches or hear the frustrated grown that escaped her as she pulled off her broken glasses and held her now bleeding side.

**Outer's house about two hours later:**

Michiru, Setsuna and Hotaru all glanced up from their respective activities as they heard the front door open and close. Setsuna stood and walked into the hall to tell the blonde they'd saved her dinner in the microwave but she never got it out. The next thing the two remaining outers heard was a gasps and Setsuna calling Michiru. The violin player hurried toward the door to find Haruka leaning heavily on Setsuna's shoulder, her clothes ripped in random places and covered in blood. A taxi driver was standing behind her his hands covered in blood as well, which he was now wiping onto a bandana. The man said something about telling the blonde she should see a doctor but none of them paid him much attention.

"Hotaru, pay our guest and call Ami. Tell her we need her help." Michiru said as the teen appeared in the doorway and her violet eyes went wide. She nodded and handed the man a rather large note before politely showing him back out the door. Haruka hung somewhat limply between the two older women as they drug her up the staircase and into her room. Setsuna looked over the blonde as Michiru stepped back from the bed.

"What happened?" Setsuna asked as she noticed how most of the injuries seemed to be deep scrapes but a few looked more serious and the blonde had obviously lost blood. Haruka's torn clothes themselves were seemingly soaked in blood.

"Fell on my bike." Haruka said tiredly as she sank into the pillows. Both Setsuna and Michiru exchanged a surprised look, as they'd never seen the wind senshi anywhere close to losing her balance on wheels. Her next words, spoken before she passed out disturbed both women. "Just missed the truck."

"I really wish she'd go to a hospital." Ami said quietly as she shut the bedroom door an hour later. She smiled at the four sets of concerned eyes that watched her, even if her own smile was a bit shaky. "She'll be fine. She's bandaged and shouldn't lose any more blood, I didn't find and broken bones. With the healing abilities we all posses I'd say she should be fine by the end of the week."

"What aren't you saying Ames?" Makoto asked as red eyes watched the young women. Ami sighed and leaned back against the now latched door.

"She was exhausted from more than just the blood loss. It doesn't look like she's slept much in days if not weeks." Ami pushed away from the door and shook her head sadly. "What ever is bothering her if she doesn't find an outlet it is only going to get worse. She'll sleep tonight, I gave her some pain killer that should have her out until morning."

"Where did you get something like that?" Makoto looked at Ami with shook and the girl blushed.

"My mother figured out I was Mercury a few years ago, she keeps medical supplies at home and made me swear that if I need a trained doctor I will come to her." Ami smiled up at the others. "Actually it was quite a relief."

"We'd better get home, it's pretty late and I don't want Ami's mom to worry." Makoto said to the others.

Once they'd left the three outer scouts sat in the living room. Setsuna watched silently as Michiru's eyes turned from worry to anger. She sighed as she realized what was coming. Hotaru, again catching onto the mood of her guardians stood and excused herself to go to bed, though Setsuna was certain the thirteen year old was not far away.

"I can't believe she was so stupid." Michiru fumed after the youngest senshi had left the room. "Haruka should know better than to even operate her motorcycle with so little sleep. She could have been killed!"

"Be fair Michiru, Haruka's motorcycle is as much her stress relief as your violin is for you." Setsuna calmly defended her friend.

"My Stradivarius isn't going to kill its player if I hit a wrong note!" Michiru argued back and caught the somewhat amused look that crept into Setsuna's eyes. She was sure the timekeeper was imagining killer violins running amuck through Tokyo. With a sigh Michiru placed a hand to her forehead. "She had to be brought back here by a random stranger, bleeding and too tired to explain what happened to her."

"That can happen when one is in an accident." Setsuna winced slightly at the far from amused look she received for that comment. With a sigh the red-eyed woman thought over what the cabby had tried to tell them. "I believe he said he found her on a mountain road."

"Oh, what was she doing? Riding at high sped with her headlight off and her arms out at her sides?" Michiru spread her arms in demonstration of her comment.

"Knowing Uranus, that's quiet possible." Setsuna commented and received another glare from the women before her. She shook her head and stood to leave. "I don't know about you Michiru, but I intend to change clothes and wash dear Haruka's blood off me."

Michiru stared after Setsuna and flopped onto the couch. To herself she could admit that she didn't understand anything the blonde did this past month. It wasn't a matter of she didn't have an opinion, she just couldn't be sure why the blonde was acting the way she was. She let her head fall into her hands and held back another sigh. As much as she was mad at the tall blonde, and as much as she had no intend of speaking more than two words to her friend this week, she was still worried. Seeing her pale and bloody was not an image Michiru enjoyed and it had scared her more than she'd ever admit.

Michiru pulled out her phone and started a text message. She didn't bother with details, just canceled her date for tomorrow night and said she'd call another time. Some how she couldn't picture eating dinner at an expensive restaurant while her blonde partner lay in bed with Setsuna and Hotaru watching over her.

That done Michiru left the room, heading toward one of the bathrooms for her own shower. She didn't notice Hotaru hiding in the shadows, or see the girl pick up her abandoned cell and look over the sent messages. Hotaru nodded approvingly as she read her adopted mother's text message and set the phone back down. At least now she knew for certain they were all concerned about Haruka-papa.


	3. Fight the Call

**Fight the Call:**

Haruka awoke the next morning from a dreamless sleep only to notice she was mostly undressed in bed. The covers were pulled over her and she could feel both the itch of healing wounds and the bandages, which had been placed on her to prevent further bleeding. Things started to come back to the blonde and she had to wince at her own antics. She'd wanted to escape, not bind herself to a bed for a week's time.

"Haruka-papa?" Asked a sleepy voice, causing teal eyes to notice for the first time the dark haired girl curled near the foot of her bed. Hotaru sat up and hopped off the bed, still dressed the way she had been Haruka dropped her off last night. "Are you feeling okay? Ami-san said if you were in too much pain when you woke we should call her."

"I'm fine Hime-chan." Haruka smirked and tried to sit up only to wince and give in to the small hands that pushed her shoulders gently back down. She looked up at her daughter with a slightly amused expression. "Okay, so maybe I should stay lying down for a while longer."

"You are staying in bed for the rest of the day, Ten'ou Haruka." Michiru warned sternly from the doorway causing both occupants of the room to let out surprised, and in one case mildly pained, yelps. Michiru turned her blue gaze to her daughter and raised an aqua brow at the teen girl before her. "And I thought you went to bed last night, young lady."

"I was going Michiru-mama." Hotaru looked up with the expression she'd once worn when she and Haruka had been caught trying to sneak cookies from the kitchen. The dark haired girl gave a small shrug of her shoulders. "I didn't want Haruka-papa to be alone if she woke up."

"Is that right?" Michiru smiled just slightly as Hotaru looked down at the floor again. She walked over and hugged the teen for a moment then gently nudged her toward the door. "Go and get showered and ready for breakfast, I want to talk to your Haruka-papa for a moment."

"Hai!" Hotaru looked back toward Haruka once before she left the room again. Haruka closed her eyes and hoped for the best, it was almost never good when Michiru felt the need to send Hotaru out of a room. Sure the two adults didn't argue often, but that didn't mean Haruka didn't get the occasional lecture from one of the other two women.

"I already told you I am not going to coddle your feelings, you're an adult." Michiru began and Haruka bit her tongue to suppress the biting comment that came to mind. Clearly Michiru thought this all stemmed from her feelings for the violin player. Haruka didn't want to explain, if the artist wanted to know she'd ask. She squeezed her teal eyes shut more tightly as her friend continued. "You can't keep doing this Haruka, you know better than anyone how dangerous it is to deprive yourself of sleep and then choose to participate in the motor sports you so love."

"I haven't chosen any of this." Haruka commented mildly to the now pacing senshi. "Michiru you don't know what you're talking about."

"So you aren't dwelling on that whole argument a month ago?" Michiru asked accusingly as she stopped to watch the blonde. "And would you look at me at least. For god's sake Haruka I don't see what you have to be mad about."

"I'm not mad at anyone." Haruka replied dryly as she opened her eyes and they locked with two deep blue orbs. With a smirk the blonde decided to press things. "Except perhaps myself. Why, my dear princess of the sea, would I even care about what happened a month ago?"

"You know why." Michiru shot back, glancing at the door to insure it was closed. Sure, Setsuna and Hotaru both knew about Haruka's feelings, knew that Michiru had turned her down, but that didn't make her feel a need to share this argument. "You know perfectly well."

"Oh?" Haruka looked toward the window before her gaze came back to land on the irate young woman standing in the middle of her bedroom. "I'm not so sure, why don't you remind me. You can say it, you know you can."

"Fine you're jealous." Michiru accused her bedridden partner with a glare. "You came home, I had an old friend over and you over reacted."

"An ex-boyfriend Michiru." Haruka reminded her in an all too friendly tone. The blonde continued to smirk, as her calm partner seemed ready to yell but instead just let out a long suffering sigh. "And jealousy had nothing to do with my actions at the time."

"Oh, and what do you call it? You have already stated that you feel more than just plutonic feelings toward me."

"Let's be exact here, Michi. I didn't state anything I showed it by kissing you." Haruka took a breath and looked back away from her partner. "And I don't seem to remember you being able to answer me for months. But that's beside the point, all I was thinking of a month ago was the fact that he'd hurt you and would most likely do it again."

"I can take care of myself Ten'ou-san."

"Which you made clear a month ago." Haruka's eyes snapped back to the shorter woman and she lost all hint of a grin. With somewhat cold eyes and steal in her voice the blonde continued. "Don't worry, I have no intend of interfering in your personal life again."

"What?" Michiru became confused and sat lightly on the edge of the bed, gazing down at the defiant face of her friend. "Wait, what do you mean you have no intend of interfering? You're part of my personal life Haruka. You are one of my best friends and you know I'll be here if you need me."

"Think about your own words Michiru." Haruka shut her eyes and settled down as if to sleep. There was no feeling in the blonde's voice as she spoke again. "We're both adults, and I don't need you to hold my hand. Now, I am going to try to sleep a bit more, seeing as I can't do anything more useful at the moment."

Michiru stood and left the room with out a word. Once she'd closed the door she leaned back against it and closed her eyes. She couldn't stop herself from asking how they got to this point. She'd never meant to hurt the blonde, but it was obvious she had. Still, Michiru didn't understand, none of Haruka's reactions made sense to her.

"She isn't you, Michiru. You can't expect her to act the same." The senshi of the sea wasn't surprised when she opened her eyes to find it'd been Setsuna's soft voice that made that statement. She shook her head and walked away, passing Setsuna on the way down the stairs. The taller senshi opened the door again and poked her head in, glancing around the dark atmosphere inside.

"Go away Michiru." Came a muffled husky voice from beneath a pillow.

"I hate to disappoint you but I am not a short and currently perturbed violin player." Setsuna spoke and heard a muffled apology again float from beneath the pillow. She smiled a bit as she entered and placed a tray on the nightstand. "If you don't want your breakfast I'm sure someone around here is hungry enough to eat it for you."

It didn't take long for a blonde head to reappear from beneath the pillow and Haruka to try to sit up again. Setsuna smiled a bit as she helped the racer to sit up properly and set the tray on her lap, moving the glass of juice to the nightstand.

"Can you manage with out choking, dare devil?" She joked as she stood up. Haruka only nodded and began to eat, her movements slowed by the amount of healing scrapes and scratches spread over her body. Setsuna walked out and quietly shut the door. Maybe sometime over the week of bed rest her two housemates would work things out, though the chances seemed low.

The end of that bedridden week could not come fast enough for the blonde as she was taunted again and again by the same nightmarish dreams with each wink of sleep she earned. Still she'd had to subject herself to it or stay confined to that bed until Ami declared her fit to stand on her own two feet. Now, only days later, Haruka woke again in a cold sweat and with the too well imagined taste of alcohol upon her tongue. She growled and focused to glaring teal eyes onto the red numbers of her alarm clock.

"Prefect. Awake at midnight again." She muttered to herself. She blew out a puff of air as she rose quietly from her bed and padded across the floor. She quickly grabbed a pair of sweats and a tank top and was soon dressed for her nighttime exercise. Sneakers in hand the blonde crept down the steps, silent as a shadow and paused as she reached the bottom step. Before her was Michiru's back as she spoke to someone outside the front door.

"Thank you very much for the wonderful night, Masato." Michiru spoke though her tone sounded forced to the blonde who merely remained silent in a dark area near the stair. Her suspicions were confirmed as Michiru locked the door, shut her eyes with a troubled sigh and turned to lean her back against it. The shorter woman sagged against the dark wood and only truly seemed to relax after a car was heard driving away.

"Long night?" Haruka spoke softly so as not to wake the other occupants of the house and caught her mistake right away. Michiru had been in her own troubled world and had not even noticed Haruka's presence, not even a twinge. The blonde was still insanely fast however and easily had a hand pressed over her friend's lips before the startled scream could escape her. Haruka realized she now had the poor woman pinned up against the door with her own body and leaned close to her ear before speaking in a husky voice. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you angel."

Michiru relaxed at the sound of the familiar voice before glaring into the teal eyes before her. She was slightly relieved to see the momentary spark of playfulness in those teal depths but it was quickly washed out again by something darker. Haruka pulled her hand slowly from Michiru's lips and watched her for a time but made no comment.

"What are you doing up?" Michiru asked as she tried to ignore the fact that they were breathing so closely that both felt the heat of the other's breathe. She tried to search those eyes again as they diverted toward the wall beside them. "You should be resting."

"I have slept more than enough this past week." Haruka muttered in annoyance as she freed her captive and picked up the sneakers she'd discarded. Turning away she started toward the back door and Michiru followed with out comment. "Are you going to watch me now? Shouldn't you go sleep?"

"Not tired yet." Michiru lied as she easily suppressed a yawn and watched the woman's back. "Am I not allowed to watch you work yourself free of some energy?"

"As they say in America Michiru: Whatever floats your boat." Haruka put her shoes on at the back door and they stepped out. Silently the two made there way to what looked much like large garage in the back yard. The yard itself was easily large enough to hold another house or two. Haruka opened the door and out of habit held it for Michiru who walked in and turned on the bank of lights above them. Inside was a well stocked mini gym with weight bench, stationary bike, sparring mat, speed bag and Haruka's favorite punching bag. The blonde shut the door and turned to find Michiru holding out the white tape like wrap she always used. Haruka nodded her thanks and began to wrap her hands quickly.

Michiru silently upon the weight bench and watched Haruka go through some quick stretches and warm ups. Her own mind started to wonder to other times she had joined the blonde out here. There had been nights the two women had talked through the night as Haruka unleashed frustration on that same black bag and its small companion speed bag. There had even been nights that Michiru had watched Haruka, not saying a word to the blonde and the blonde not questioning why her friend would follow. In truth there had been times, more than Michiru felt secure admitting, when she had wondered to herself about why she'd turned away from the blonde's feelings. Michiru had no question about why she'd not pushed Haruka away when the tall woman kissed her years ago, she'd enjoyed that moment. That moment had become her guilt and her mental scar to bear alone, knowing the knowledge would only give Haruka a false hope.

Now Haruka's movements were not as fluid as she remembered, the blonde acting as if a stranger's eyes were upon her back. Michiru frowned as she thought of this fact, had she really become a stranger to the wind senshi? Again Michiru clearly heard that husky voice in her ear calling her an angel as it once did so regularly. She'd always said she wasn't an angel but Haruka had only laughed and kept to the nickname. Michiru closed her eyes as she replayed the events of the night in her mind again.

_"Why don't we go for a walk angel?" Masato asked as his dark eyes looked over Michiru's evening dress covered form. Her blue eyes, troubled the whole night, snapped to the man beside her. Somehow it didn't feel right when he called her that but she didn't know why._

_"I'm getting a bit tired, I think I'd like to go home Masato-san." Michiru said as her eyes alighted on the moon glowing distantly above their heads. She heard the man sigh a bit dejectedly._

_"Just a short walk?" Masato said pleadingly to Michiru who took pity upon the man and nodded._

_They walked quietly across the beach, where each one of her dates seemed to think she'd feel a romantic atmosphere, and Michiru let herself drown in her thoughts. She still felt a stab at the thought of Haruka not being part of her personal life anymore, a weird twisting feeling as if something were incredibly wrong. Even the sounds of the waves lapping lightly on the sand of the beach did nothing to lift the guilt Michiru continued to feel as she thought things over. She was interrupted from her thoughts as Masato decided suddenly to lean in and kiss her quite eagerly. With a muffled yelp Michiru jumped back from the startled man._

_"What's wrong?" He asked as he looked at her with clear shock. "I thought you'd like that."_

_"I'd like to go home now, please." Michiru said calmly as she turned back to walk toward Masato's car._

_"Sure."_

"Hey, I know we have this little pact to stay out of each other's lives but that far off stare is starting to kill me." Haruka's voice broke into her thoughts as the blonde gently touched her cheek and tilted her head up to make their eyes meet. Haruka was kneeling in front of her, concern poorly hidden within her teal eyes. "You okay? I can go get Setsuna, even if she does kill me for waking her."

"I'm fine Haruka." Michiru said, her voice a bit more cold then she intended. The blonde nodded and moved to stand but Michiru place one hand on her right shoulder to stop her. Haruka glanced back up and her eyes widened a bit as Michiru leaned over and kissed he cheek lightly. She whispered in a pained voice. "I'm sorry Haruka, I know I hurt you and I know you were trying to look out for me."

"Then you're not mad anymore that I beat him up?" Haruka questioned in a weird tone as she leaned away. Michiru's breath on her neck was a bit much for the blonde to take.

"Don't push your luck Blondie." Michiru joked in a somewhat weak voice trying to sound stern as she looked at the blonde. She shook a finger at Haruka's nose and spoke again. "How am I ever supposed to get a date if you go beating up every guy I break up with?"

"Hey now, I'm not exactly against driving guys away but I'm not aiming to do it." Haruka joked lightly and wiped a stray tear, which had began to escape Michiru's eye. She smiled up at her friend and shook her head and tried again to coax back the normal calm musician. "Hey, there's always me or Internet dating. I can't beat up a cyber guy, you know."

"Be serious!" Michiru admonished in a strained voice that shut the blonde up. Worried for her friend Haruka stood and pulled Michiru into a tight hug. Michiru began to cry and Haruka was shocked out of her mind. She didn't know what to think as Michiru spoke again in that strained voice. "I don't want you out of my private life Haruka. I don't want my best friend to treat me like a stranger."

"Hey, hey." Haruka pulled back and held Michiru's face gently as she stroked tears away with her thumbs. Two sad blue eyes gazed back at her as she spoke in a calming voice. "You're not a stranger, sure we haven't been talking much but I know who you are."

"We don't talk at all, Ruka." Michiru shook her head defiantly, disengaging Haruka's hold on her and looking up at the taller women as her tears stopped slowly. She took a few deep breaths, still gazing into those confused eyes. "We don't tell each other anything anymore. It's always hello and good-bye. Always quick, curt replies and unasked questions. It's getting to me Haruka and I miss hearing your voice and seeing you happy and I don't want to be any part of making you feel that way."

"Michiru, what are you getting at." Haruka started to look away, seemingly ready to turn away from the suddenly frantic seeming violin player. "Calm down and take a breath will you?"

Before Haruka could turn back toward the punching bag Michiru grabbed her face and pulled her down. Teal eyes shot wide open as their lips met and she couldn't think. Against her better judgment Haruka shut her eyes and let herself fall into the kiss. Michiru felt Haruka's arm slid around her waist and deepened the kiss. Both women put aside their conscious thoughts for a moment, just letting themselves feel this moment. Haruka and Michiru broke the kiss when both began to feel light headed from the lack of air they were experiencing. It took a moment for both to process what had just happened but as soon as their minds kicked back into working order blue eyes went wide.

Michiru broke free of Haruka's loose hold, the blonde letting her go as she fled from the small gym. As the door swung shut behind her companion Haruka spun and delivered a strong blow to the hundred pound punching bag behind her. A sort of thud sound echoed in the silence of the empty room as Haruka shut her eyes again and ignored the single tear that slipped from her own eye.

Inside her own room Michiru sank to the floor, back against her bedroom door. Her head made a light thud sound as she allowed it to fall back against the wood. She tried to block the feelings, which were now sweeping through her but she couldn't. Her heart was pounding even faster than it had the first time, but at the same time she felt as if it had been stabbed. As if she driven a blade into her chest and twisted it over and over again. At this moment, as her breathing began to slow down and the tears started to fall again, Michiru swore she would rather have her heart crystal ripped again from her chest than feel how she did now. She couldn't believe that she had done that to Haruka, or to herself.

At well past three in the morning Haruka tiredly dragged her feet up the steps and back to her room. She glanced toward the door next to hers, Michiru's, but no light spilled below the door. She moved quietly, thinking to herself that at least one of them should sleep through the night. She didn't know that as she quietly shut her door those blue eyes opened and gazed at the wall that separated them. She didn't know that as she sat with her back against that wall and tried to meditate her partner sat against the other door with puffy blue eyes. And neither saw the other's troubled look or knew that their thoughts dwelled on each other.

Haruka knew only that she didn't want to sleep tonight. That she didn't want the nightmare to return even compared to how troubled her waking hours were. Teal eyes landed on the still sealed bottle, which sat on her dresser. It was a get-well gift from her parts supplier. A gift which now taunted the blonde each time she woke and yet she couldn't make herself get rid of it because of that cursed curiosity which battled with her fears. Again that bottle looked all too inviting, as if it could make the blonde's thoughts stop. Haruka violently shook her head to clear away that thought.

'Alcohol helps nothing!' She reminded herself fiercely. 'It has destroyed to many people who thought it held the answer and you would be no different.'

**Author's note:**

Give me a little credit; I'm not going to kill someone just because this is a darker fiction. I don't promise not to but hey, people can survive a lot if they are strong. Thank you for all the reviews, they mean a lot to me.


	4. Love it or Fear it

**Love it or Fear it:**

_The tall blonde held her throbbing head as she sat on a bed in the emergency room, her teal eyes were glazed over from the after effects of the night. Fingers lightly grazed the bandage, which was wrapped around her head, and she couldn't remember why she was here or what she was waiting for._

_"Mild concussion, nothing too serious." A doctor was saying quietly from the other side of the curtain. "Really it's a miracle she survived, they say the car was a total loss after it hit the telephone pole."_

_"And the other young woman?"_

_"Dead on arrival." The doctor responded sadly. "Two miracles were too much to ask for."_

_"Who should tell her?"_

_"I will." Interrupted a familiar voice, though Haruka couldn't quite remember who's it was. This was followed by the appearance of a tall woman from behind the curtain. Green hair was fully down and clothes seemed hastily arranged about her, even her slightly blood shot red eyes suggested she'd been called here at an unexpected and un-godly time. She stepped in front of the blonde and laid one hand lightly upon her shoulder. "How are you feeling, Haruka?"_

_"I need a drink." Haruka muttered as she let her teal eyes slide shut._

_"Do you remember what happened at all?" Setsuna asked as she sat on the bed with the tall blonde. "Anything?"_

_"I was at a party, Michiru came with me." Haruka opened her still blurry eyes as she gazed at the curtain that surrounded the small area. She shook her head to clear it and collect her thoughts, grasping for the straws of fuzzy memories. "I had a drink or two, Michiru said we should go home. I don't know why I'm here, or where Michiru is."_

_"Haruka, I came because the police called me." Setsuna started in a soft voice. She slid an arm about the other's shoulders in a comforting gesture. "While you were on your way home something happened and you struck a telephone pole. The police say you were above the legal limit to drive when they arrived. You and Michiru were rushed here to Tokyo General."_

_"I'm okay, I think." Haruka muttered, still not quite understanding. "Can I see Michi, I want to make sure she's alright."_

_"Haruka, you totaled your convertible." Setsuna swallowed before she spoke again. "It struck the pole with the passenger side first, Michiru was hurt badly and she was gone before she arrived at the ER."_

_"Gone? Where'd she go?"_

_"Haruka, I'm sorry but Michiru is dead."_

Teal eyes shot open just past dawn and Haruka smothered a startled cry. She took deep breaths and almost thanked the sharp pains in her neck and back for the distraction. She realized she'd fallen asleep with her back to the wall and was paying the price now as her heart beat started to come down again. Had the bottle of alcohol been in reach Haruka was unsure if she'd have drunk it or thrown it.

Minutes later the blonde emerged from her room freshly dressed. No one else was awake as she quietly crept to Michiru's door. As silently as possible the blonde eased the door open and peaked inside, feeling the need to reassure her mind. She was surprised to find the artist a sleep on the floor not far from the door. Haruka knelt down and softly brushed some aqua strands from Michiru's face, noticing the tear stained cheeks with sadness. She shook her head, feeling a bitter mixture of relief and guilt at the same time. Again she could almost hear the alcohol calling to her.

Haruka slowly slid her arms underneath Michiru's knees and shoulders. She was careful not to wake the senshi of the deep sea as she lifted her from the floor. Silently she carried her over to her bed and set her lightly atop the blankets. Haruka frowned at the idea of waking her while trying to pulled covers from below her and then over her but the smaller woman seemed cold. Without a second thought Haruka shed the black trench coat she pulled on minutes before and laid it carefully over Michiru's form. With a last look she slipped out of the room and toward the stairs.

The blonde was on a mission as she backed her golden convertible out of the garage and down the driveway. She pulled on a pair of dark sunglasses and fought the mixture of feeling, which welled up inside her. There was only one other person alive who she had ever trusted as much as Michiru, and though he'd not been in her life for a number of years she needed him now.

'I hope you live in the same place, you always liked to move with the wind.'

Michiru woke to the scent of breakfast drifting under her door from down stairs. With only mild pain she sat up and glanced around. The young woman didn't remember how she got into bed or when as she felt some thing fall into her lap. Deep blue eyes glanced down to find a long black trench coat draped over her legs and protecting her from the morning chill. For a moment Michiru feared she'd not even come home, but then the memories of the workout room and the scent of Haruka's cologne caught her mind. Realizing it was Haruka's coat she jumped out of bed. Haruka must have looked into her room and moved her off the floor.

With speed rivaled only by the senshi of wind herself, Michiru was out of her room and knocking lightly upon Haruka's door. When she received no answer she opened it slowly and found the room empty. She shut it and tried to walk down the stairs as calmly as possible. She came into the kitchen and was met with two surprised sets of eyes, neither teal. She sighed, knowing the blonde had disappeared again and sank into her usual chair.

"Are you okay Michiru-mama?" Hotaru asked, not used to seeing the artist in such a disheveled state. Michiru wasn't vain but she hated to seem so disorganized as she appeared now.

"Yes, thank you Hotaru." Michiru responded though her eyes were glazed over and she didn't look toward Setsuna or Hotaru.

'Now they're both sad and worried.' Hotaru thought to herself. She shook her head even as she thought this. 'No, it's worse than that. Something is wrong and I want to know what.'

Haruka pushed her sunglasses back up as she approached the door two hours later. Of course he didn't live in the same place, it had been around eight years or more. With some reluctance she stopped at the door and pressed the button for the doorbell of the small house. A few muffled curses could be made out as someone came to the door and it soon swung back to reveal an older man with little of his gray hair left and two teal eyes hidden behind reading glasses. Being at almost equal height with Haruka the man regarded her.

"Something I can help you with, sir?" He asked.

"I needed some advice and you were the only one I had left to ask." As Haruka saw that he was starting to understand at the sound of her voice she pulled the sunglasses off. Identical teal eyes locked and the tall blonde bowed slightly to the man. "Good morning Dad."

"You always were able to find me kid." Ten'ou-san waved his daughter inside and shut the door behind her. He was unable to hide his smile as he led her to the kitchen and told her to sit down. After a moment at the refrigerator he returned with two root beers in hand. "What's on your mind kid?"

"Well before I get into it, I am sorry for disappearing the way I did after Mom passed away." Haruka's father waved off the apology with a shake of his head.

"You and I were always two of a kind, we moved as we needed and only look back when we get settled." Ten'ou Yoshi handed his daughter one of the bottled sodas. "As long as you're still doing okay I'm happy for you."

"Thanks Dad." Haruka opened the bottle and leaned back in her chair, eyes rolling toward the ceiling. Where to begin, where do you start this kind of conversation? "I've been having nightmares, a lot."

"That used to be the norm for you, if I recall." Yoshi spoke, hoping to prompt her into more description.

"Yes, but not these ones this often." She sighed and took a sip of her root beer before looking again toward her father but not meeting his eyes. "They always involved alcohol and drinking. Normally they're about me starting and not being able to stop, but last night was worse."

"I can't say I haven't had a number of those dreams myself." Yoshi removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly. He looked back up at his youngest child and decided it best to ask. "Have you been drinking?"

"No, the stories I heard at your meetings convinced me not to a long time ago." Haruka set the bottle down lightly and folded her arms on the table. "But lately it's been hard to resist, it feels like the alcohol is calling to me when I am awake and haunting me when I am asleep."

"And what was worse about your latest nightmare?"

"Michiru died." Haruka said, for a brief moment forgetting just how long it had been since they'd spoken.

"Michiru?" Yoshi got a curious look for a brief second before something dawned on him. He looked again at his daughter. "Your high school roommate, right?"

"We still live together along with another friend and a girl the three of us adopted." Haruka informed as she took some pictures from her pocket and held them out to Yoshi. The older man smiled again as he gazed at the pictures of the four women. One showed Haruka standing behind Michiru, both in their high school uniforms, with one hand on the shorter woman's shoulder. "Michiru is the one with aqua hair and blue eyes. Setsuna has long, dark green hair and Hotaru is the youngest with black hair and violet eyes."

"Very nice looking young women, and Hotaru-chan has a look that seems wiser than her years." Yoshi commented as he paused on a picture of Setsuna and put his glasses back on to examine it more closely. He raised an eyebrow before he finally asked what he wanted to. "Does Setsuna-san have red eyes, or am I getting old?"

"You, old? Never." Haruka joked lightly in an attempt to cover her slight nervousness. No one had ever commented to her about the time senshi's eyes before. "Yes, Setsuna has red eyes. I don't really know how that happened but I got used to it."

"As long as I am not seeing things." Yoshi gave back the pictures with an amused smile toward his daughter. She looked at him with a confused expression and he almost laughed but held it in. He'd always found it fun to pick on his children and wasn't going to pass up this rare chance. "So, how long have you known?"

"What do you mean?" Haruka was genuinely confused now. She shook her head and glanced back at the pictures. "Known what?"

"That you had feelings for Michiru-san." Yoshi did laugh at the shocked and nearly stricken look that washed across his daughters face. He sobered a bit and regarded her with a calm look. "When you were small I had nightmares a lot like yours. I used to dream that I fell off the wagon and somehow got yourself and your brother killed."

"So you guessed because of my nightmare?"

"Your nightmare is part of it. You're afraid of what you might lose if you let yourself drink. You see the loss of those you care for most and the end of things that are important to you. I'm betting at least one nightmare involved crashing your favorite car as well." Yoshi waited for her to nod before he spoke again. "I can't tell you how to make the nightmares stop, kid. To me they are just something that comes and goes, but I can tell you one thing."

"What is that?" Haruka asked as her teal eyes focused again on the bottle before her.

"It helps to talk it out." Yoshi smiled again with a glint in his eyes. "Whither it is with your wife, roommate, friend, father or even daughter. Why do you think I still go to meetings after all these years?"

"I'll remember that Dad." Haruka took a card from her pocket and handed it to him with a shaky smile on her face as she stood. The two walked back to the door and Yoshi gave her a quick hug before he let her go. Haruka pulled her sunglasses back on and started to turn from the door. "Call anytime Dad."

"Oh, Haruka." She looked back at the man who had again that teasing smile she'd known so well in the past. "Don't give up on Michiru yet kid."

Haruka watched the door shut and didn't bother to question how her father seemed to know what advice to give with out asking. Walking back to her car she felt some form of relief as she realized her father had no problem with her love interest. Yoshi had always been very religious, so Haruka was never sure what to expect as a response. The yellow convertible started up and drove smoothly down the block.

Hotaru came home that evening after having dinner with the inner scouts. She looked around until she finally found Haruka's feet sticking out from under her precious golden yellow convertible. With a mischievous look Hotaru grabbed another of the skateboard like devices and slid under the car as well. She came to level with the blonde's head and stopped.

"Hi Haruka-papa." Hotaru watched as Haruka unscrewed a cap and black oil began to drain from the engine. Teal eyes then turned to the teenager beside her and the blonde nodded.

"Hey Hime, good day?" Haruka asked as they started to slide back out from under the car.

"It was fun." Hotaru shrugged as the two emerged and sat up in unison. Both quietly watched the door, which led to the house. Hotaru's gaze dropped down and she took a breath. This wasn't as easy as she'd hopped it'd be. "I wanted to ask you something Haruka-papa?"

"Shoot!" Haruka exclaimed with a grin and waited for her daughter to say something.

"What has been bothering you lately?" Hotaru said, just barely above a whisper. Haruka caught every word and for a moment greatly wished the girl had wanted to ask about guys, though she'd have had to send her to one of the others. Yoshi's word rang again in her mind and Haruka reached out to mess her daughter's hair.

"I'll tell you what." She stood and held a hand out to help Hotaru up. She easily pulled the teen to her feet and smiled reassuringly. "Let me get cleaned up and we'll go get ice cream and talk okay?"

"Okay." Hotaru said as a shaky smile came to her own lips.

"Why don't you go tell Michiru-mama and I'll go ask Setsuna-mama if we can use her car?" Haruka nearly laughed at the look the dark haired girl got at the thought of telling the shorter of her two mothers' that they were going for ice cream at this hour.

"Can I ask Setsuna-mama?" Hotaru looked hopefully up at the blonde and Haruka nodded. As Hotaru fled the garage Haruka shook her head, they must have both Setsuna and Hotaru walking on eggshells now to get that response.

Grimly Haruka walked to the door of Michiru's room after she'd changed and knocked lightly. After a moment Michiru appeared at the door with a cordless in one hand. The violin player eyed Haruka with surprise and excused herself from the call. Haruka was somewhat surprised by that and Michiru smiled a bit unsurely at the tall women before her.

"Did you need something Haruka?" Michiru asked in a timid sounding voice that made the cloned want to smack herself for unknown reasons.

"I just came to tell you I'm taking Hotaru to get some ice cream." Haruka said as she shoved her hands into the pockets of the dark slacks she'd changed into. Haruka tried to look as casual as possible and leaned again the doorframe.

"Just the two of you?" Michiru asked with what sounded like surprise and eyed Haruka with her deep blue eyes.

"Um, yes." Haruka looked away from the questioning blue eyes and focused on the wall instead as she answered the unspoken question. "Hime-chan decided she'd like to ask me some questions."

"And you can't turn down those pretty violet eyes." Michiru finished with a fond smile on her face. After a moment's pause the shorter woman spoke again. Her next words were a near echo of what someone once said of Haruka as a child. "That's our daughter, always looking out for her papa."

Haruka nodded a bit and pushed off the doorframe when a light hand landed on her arm. She turned back and noticed that Michiru seemed to want to say something but at the same time seemed unable to. Blue eyes looked down with an almost crushed expression on her face and Haruka felt her heart clinch at that look. However strained their friendship maybe Haruka did love this woman and hated to see her in pain. On impulse the blonde turned fully toward the artist and gently kissed the young woman's cheek.

"No matter what Michi, I do love you." She whispered into the woman's ear before she could think too much about it. She let it out before she could wonder if it was right to say, or how the other would react. "Even if we stop being friends and you hate me for the rest of our lives, I'll still be in love with you."

Haruka turned and walked away before Michiru could say anything but she paused as a soft voice reached her ears from behind.

"I don't hate you, Ruka." And with that a door clicked lightly shut. Haruka wasn't sure how she felt about that but she shook it off as she headed down the stairs. Hotaru was at the bottom, still talking to Setsuna when Haruka jumped the last few steps and lifted her daughter off her feet. The teen squealed in surprise as Haruka swung her over her shoulder and spun around. Hotaru began to laugh as Haruka finally stopped and carefully put her back down.

"I'm not sure that's what Ami-chan meant when she told you to take it easy, Haruka." Setsuna commented as Haruka steadied a now swaying teen by placing her hands on Hotaru's shoulders. The blonde grinned and Setsuna couldn't help but smile.

"You okay kid?" The blonde asked and looked down at the teen that stood directly in front of her. Hotaru tilted her head back to look up at Haruka and nodded which looked a bit funny like that and set Setsuna and Haruka chuckling. "Okay, then let's hit the road."

Hotaru was out the door when Setsuna stopped Haruka. While handing her the keys she gave the blonde a serious look.

"Are you okay?"

"Don't worry, Setsuna." Haruka shook her head before Setsuna could offer to drive and instead held out her hand for the keys, which were given to her. "I'm not going to do anything stupid with Hotaru in the car. I'd never risk Hime-chan that way."

"You heard that, didn't you?" Setsuna asked over her shoulder once the door had shut. At the top of the stairs Michiru leaned against the railing and watched the door with troubled blue eyes. Neither woman spoke again as Setsuna went back to the book she'd been reading and Michiru just kept watching the door.

'Don't risk yourself either, Haruka.'


	5. To Thine Own Self Be True

**To Thine Own Self Be True:**

"Here you go, Hime. One sundae for the cutest teen in the place." Haruka said as she placed a sundae before her daughter. Hotaru rolled her eyes with a grin as Haruka sat across from her. Haruka placed her own mint chip shake on the table and started to play with a napkin. "So, what was your question again?"

"Haruka-papa, I know you haven't actually forgotten." Hotaru said in a very serious tone as she took a bite of her sundae. Haruka sighed and bowed her head in resignation.

"You're right, I was just stalling." Haruka said in a more downcast voice then she intended. She softened it a bit by looking back up and weakly smiling. "I never could follow Michiru, Setsuna or you with that."

"Nope, we know when something's really wrong." Hotaru agreed, far more interested in the blonde woman's words than her sundae. Her violet eyes watched Haruka's movements before she spoke. "You both have worried me a lot lately."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry any of you." Haruka looked up at her daughter as she caught the full statement. "Wait, what do you mean both?"

"Tell me what's wrong and I'll tell you what I meant." Hotaru offered. Haruka nodded but still paused to think.

"Have I ever told you about your Grandpa Ten'ou, Hime-chan?" Haruka watched her daughter shake her head and smiled at the innocent look, which feel upon the young senshi's face. "Sometime I should take you to see him."

"He's still alive?" Hotaru nearly choked on her ice cream when Haruka said this. The blonde smile as Hotaru composed herself. She shook her dark haired head and thought it over. No one had actually said Haruka didn't have family left, in fact no one said anything about the blonde's family at all. Setsuna was just on her own, and Michiru's parents seemed to love Hotaru even if they did want to see the violin player marry and have a child of her own. "Gomen, Haruka-papa."

"That's alright, I'm not too surprised by that reaction." Haruka reached over and ruffled Hotaru's hair. The teen abandoned her ice cream to fix her hair before anyone spotted it that way. "I hadn't spoken to him in a few years so it never occurred to me to mention he was alive."

"Hadn't?" Hotaru questioned, thinking she'd found the problem. "He contacted you?"

"No actually I went out and found him this morning, that's why I missed breakfast." Haruka watched the curious eyes of her daughter as she spoke. "I wanted his advice about what's been bothering me."

"Before I was born you Grandpa Ten'ou had a drinking problem." Haruka began when she spotted the slight frustration in Hotaru's eyes. "Alcoholism can be hard to live with, and it isn't exactly curable. He gave up drinking two years before I was born but it seems to run in the family. His brother's came by the house a number of times and they never failed to have a lot of beer with them. Finally he asked them not to come by unless they could do so with out drinking, we didn't see them after that."

"My brother and I used to go with your Grandpa to his Alcoholics Antonyms meetings and those stories really stunk with me as I grew up."

"I have an uncle too?" Hotaru asked. She wasn't sure what to make of that, Michiru and Setsuna didn't have any siblings.

"You did, once." Haruka said sadly. Again she was tempted to blow past the question but her father's words came back to her. She smiled sadly as she recalled her older brother. "He was very intelligent, always did great in school and I was always chasing his shadow. He even played the piano, baritone and guitar."

"What happened to him?" Hotaru asked as she tried to ignore the sinking feeling inside her.

"Sometime during his high school years he started to drink socially." Haruka leaned back and her seat and took a sip of her shake through its straw. "But you have to be careful with the family history your uncle and I share. He couldn't just drink once and stop, but he didn't want to become Dad. Instead he started going to parties where drugs were passed around." Haruka's teal eyes watched as Hotaru gulped. The tall blonde sighed but decided it was too late to not finish that explanation. "The last time I saw him he was addicted to a drug called speed and he was telling not to do drugs. I met your Michiru-mama not long after that and we moved in together so we could work easier. I received a letter while we were searching for the talismans to tell me that your uncle had over dosed."

"So you're sad that he died?" Hotaru asked lightly but the statement didn't seem right. She shook her own head before Haruka could say a word. "No, that was too far back. You may be sad but it isn't as noticeable."

"You are bright." Haruka smiled with a bit of pride even if her daughter was an 'old soul' and could remember pieces of a lifetime from a thousand years before. "I've always been afraid to touch alcohol because of my father's family, and when your uncle passed away I came to realize most even mildly addictive things could be dangerous. I never had too much of a problem, just having a nightmare about drinking or your uncle once every few months. Only having a passing curiosity about what alcohol tastes like."

"But lately the nightmares come every time I close my eyes and the temptation seems to be getting stronger." Haruka sighed again and gazed at the tabletop as she continued to tale to the teen before her. "So my problem is that I am afraid that I will give in, that I wont be able to resist forever and I don't know what will happen. I am too worried about all the bad things that could happen and everything I could lose."

"And you didn't have anyone to talk to." Hotaru said quietly, again showing her somewhat unusual wisdom. The girl waited until Haruka nodded ever so slightly before she put the last pieces together. "You always talked to Michiru-mama about any real problems, but you didn't want to talk to her because of what happened."

"I don't need to burden her." Haruka said quietly as she stood and offered Hotaru a hand up. "In fact I was starting to think she didn't care and I am still not sure if she'd be better off with someone else as a partner."

"Haruka-papa?" Haruka looked down at her daughter as they reached the car. She opened the door for the teen and waited for what the girl would say. "What does your heart want to do? Do you still want to talk to Michiru-mama?"

"Of course I do but.."

"Then do it." Hotaru cut her adopted father off as she got into the car. She smiled up at her. "I've been worried about you both because when you weren't talking to her, Michiru-mama wasn't acting normal. She was always sad and this morning she came down to breakfast, looking for you, and she just sort of sat there."

The drive back to the house was quiet and Haruka spent most of it thinking to herself. When they arrived she gave Hotaru the car keys and asked her to find Setsuna and return them. The tall blonde for the second time that night forgot completely about her convertible and walked up the stairs. With nervous steps she came to Michiru's door and was slightly surprised when the door opened before she could knock. Michiru glanced around before taking Haruka's hand and tugging her inside the room. Haruka was still confused as the door clicked locked and she found herself gently pushed down to sit on the end of Michiru's bed. Michiru her self took a seat on a desk chair, which she'd brought near Haruka.

"How'd did it go with Hotaru?" Michiru asked instead of saying the many other things she wanted to. She watched as the teal eyes drifted about her room avoiding her own and she felt a small pang of guilt for that.

"It went fine." Haruka said with out any real information. She finally brought her eyes back to the deep blue ones, which gazed intently into hers. With all the courage the blonde had left she decided to push a subject she normally would have avoided, things couldn't get worse after all. "Michiru, what happened last night?"

"You mean in the gym?" Michiru said, this time her eyes broke contact as she shifted her head to look down.

"I mean, why did you kiss me?" Haruka said as she once again gently tilted Michiru's chin up so that those blue eyes had to meet hers. This was one time where Haruka was no longer willing to let the answer go. She needed to know what in the hell had passed through the other's mind at the time. "And why did you run afterwards?"

"Haruka, can't we just talk about what ever is going on with you first?" Michiru tried to evade the conversation one last time. She knew it was inevitable, that it needed to be had, but she still felt slight fear to even tread on the topic.

"No." Haruka said firmly with a determined shake of her head. The blonde's teal eyes blazed just a bit as she leaned a bit closer to her partner. "You can't just do that to me if you are board or something didn't go your way. I don't think I could handle it if you started to play with me that way Michiru."

"That's not why I did it." Michiru closed her eyes to block out those pained teal eyes in front of her. "Please believe me that I'm not trying to play with you."

"Then what did happen? Explain it to me." Haruka asked in a bit more gentle of a tone as she leaned away from Michiru. Blue eyes opened again before Michiru all but sprang from the chair. She began to pace the floor.

"Okay, okay I'll explain." Michiru said though her voice shook just a bit as she continued to pace. "For the past month I haven't been able to reach you no matter what. It felt as if we were farther apart than I have ever felt from you, even the first day we met when you turned away from me. At first that didn't bother me, I thought you were mad and that you'd get over it like you always do. You'd come say sorry or start rambling off about that new car they have you driving and we'd be back to the same friend's we've always been."

"But I didn't do that this time." Haruka put in as her teal eyes followed the slowly pacing woman before her.

"No, you didn't and that worried me Ten'ou Haruka." Michiru paused to give the blonde a stern look and shake her head. "Why couldn't you just act like you always do and come to me?"

"Your explanations first, remember?" Haruka soon found she was again watching Michiru pace the floor slowly.

"While we were in the gym a few things just fully hit me." Michiru said quietly and stopped pacing. She watched the dark window with her back to Haruka as she spoke. "Over that month I had been worried, about your behavior but also because for some reason you didn't run to me to talk. I knew something was wrong but I kept telling myself I didn't want you to always depend on me, that I had let you do it too much. As the time kept ticking past I started to realize that with out those talks I didn't have the same connection to you and I started to feel like I was losing you."

"Haruka, when you offered to get Setsuna that night it felt like I had been slapped." Michiru sighed as she recalled every thought that went through her mind. "Not only were you not talking to me, but I wasn't allowed to come to you anymore and that scared me. When you started to turn away it felt like you were turning away from me, or us or whatever this is."

"You did it because I wasn't talking to you?" Haruka asked as she stepped up behind Michiru. Michiru turned to face her with an objection but Haruka held a finger to her lips first. "Did you do it because you were afraid of losing your friend and you wanted things back the way they were? If that's all it was just tell me and we'll go back to what we were but I don't want you ever doing that again."

"No." Michiru spoke after Haruka had removed her finger. Haruka felt like her heart dropped out of her chest and nervous didn't describe what she felt as she waited for Michiru to elaborate. "Haruka, I wasn't raised to feel like this."

"Like what?" The blonde asked as she leaned down to examine those blue eyes up close. Michiru almost looked lost as she did this.

"Like I'd be lost with out you." The violin player whispered. "Like the world wouldn't matter with out you in it."

"Like I couldn't breath if you never spoke to me again." Haruka cut in with the beginnings of hope burning inside her. "Like if I lived though you hating me I'd never be able to forgive myself."

"I'm trying not to let them down Haruka, this isn't what they raised me to be."

"Someone wise asked me what my heart wants." Haruka said quietly as she leaned just a bit closer until her face was centimeters from Michiru's. She gazed deeply into those blue eyes and spoke just above a whisper. "Tell me your heart wants me to go and I will Michi."

"I don't want you to." Michiru breathed out just before their lips met again. She closed her eyes as Haruka pulled her close and gave in completely. Her family had tried to teach her to find someone who could take care of her, a young man who'd help them have nice little grandchildren to coddle and no one cared about love. Well, Michiru decided Haruka fit the part about caring and as for grandchildren they had Hotaru.

'My heart wants you.' She thought silently as she returned the taller woman's kiss. 'My heart needs you.'

**AN**

**I misspelled "Thyn" but this morning I dug out the coin I couldn't find last night and got the correct spelling. Sorry about that in the first version of this chapter.**


	6. Time to Breathe

**Time to Breathe:**

Haruka had to admit that she was comfortable in her current predicament. In fact it was the first time in over a month or longer that she could remember being truly comfortable. Somewhere in her mind she was still waiting to wake up from this moment to find herself back in her own dark room. Part of her mind expected to see the images from her nightmares superimpose themselves, but to her relief neither of these things happened.

Nothing much had happened, however the tall blonde was stretched out across Michiru's bed, fully clothed, with Michiru using her stomach as a pillow. Both young women stared up toward the ceiling as their conversation paused. Haruka had done her best to explain it all, answering any questions the violin player asked. Now the story was told and Michiru seemed to be thinking it all over very carefully. Haruka felt Michiru playing with her left hand, which had been draped across the shorter woman's shoulders.

"Ruka, what did happen to your brother?" She asked quietly.

"He overdosed on a form of meth." The blonde said heavily. She felt Michiru cringe so she spoke again to try to distract her. "He used to tell me I'd have to drink someday, I always thought he was wrong."

"Unless I missed something else, he was." Michiru reminded her as the violin player sat up and looked down at her. Michiru ran one hand lightly through the blonde's hair and gave her a sad smile. "I didn't mean to add to your problems."

"You didn't add anything really." Haruka tried lightly to cheer her partner up but noticed the way those blue eyes drifted toward the floor.

"No, I just too away one of your ways of dealing with stress and refused to see that anything was wrong." Michiru whispered. She was so focused on feeling guilty that she didn't see Haruka move until she found herself tackled flat to the bed. Michiru's eyes locked with the teal set which floated just above her.

"Forget the past, at least the past month or so love." Haruka spoke as the playful light came into her eyes again. The blonde grinned down at her and whispered. "If we had to go through that in order for us to come to this I'd do it again in a second."

"Sometimes I think you need your head examined." Michiru replied as she linked her arms around Haruka's shoulders. She smiled at the taller woman but spoke with warning in her voice. "From now on though, if you feel you need to talk something out you'd better go to someone, even if it isn't me."

"But I did." Haruka defended with slightly guilty look. Michiru raised one eyebrow at her and the blonde broke again into a playful smile. "I spoke to my father this morning."

"Why are you all better suddenly?" Michiru asked with a questioning look written across her face. The violin player regarded Haruka with a measuring look to those deep blue eyes. "I wouldn't think you'd get over it all so fast."

"Giddy most likely." Haruka answered and leaned close to the other woman's ear to plant a light kiss on it. "Your explanation left me feeling really good."

"So, is that all I have to do to cheer you up?" Michiru teased a bit before she pulled Haruka into another kiss. They were interrupted seconds later by a knock on the door. Haruka pulled back and glanced at the door as a flushed Michiru asked whom it was.

"Someone's at the front door for you, Michiru-mama." Hotaru's voice sounded oddly worried through the door as she spoke. "And Setsuna-mama wants to know if you've seen Haruka-papa."

"We'll be down in a second." Haruka called out as she winked at the now bright red violin player. A sort of surprised sound escaped Hotaru at Haruka's voice but she left with out comment. Haruka stood and offered her hand to Michiru with a smile. "My lady."

"Thank you." Michiru took the offered hand and once standing she poked Haruka in the ribs. The blonde made an odd sound and jumped a little backward. Michiru smiled lightly at her and went out the bedroom door before she could retaliate.

From the top of the staircase Michiru could see Setsuna trying to speak politely to someone waiting just out of sight on the porch. Hotaru sat on the bottom step and watched the oldest senshi as if it was some sort of class demonstration. Michiru felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to find Haruka behind her with a curious look. Michiru smiled and started down the stairs first. Both reached the bottom at the same moment but Haruka plopped down next to their daughter while Michiru walked over to the door. As she stepped next to Setsuna she got a look at the person standing there and almost regretted coming to the door.

"Hello Masato-san." Michiru said politely, not wanting to know if Haruka had reacted to the name or not. "Is there something I can do for you?"

"Could we talk in private, Michiru-san?" He asked a bit hopefully. Michiru almost declined before Haruka's voice interrupted her.

"Okay peanut gallery." Haruka said as she stood and waved Setsuna and Hotaru toward the living room. She noticed Michiru's confused look and winked. "Let's leave Michiru to handle her own guests, shall we?"

"Let's talk on the porch." Michiru said as she smiled thankfully toward the blonde. She'd thought Haruka would be upset but it seemed she still couldn't predict everything the blonde did. She stepped outside and softly shut the door behind her. With a sigh she turned again to face the young man before her. "What was it you wanted to speak about?"

"I thought things were going well, Michiru-san." He started as he looked off toward the ceiling with a frustrated sigh. "Until last night things seemed fine, and then you called me today and just broke it off. You never even finished telling me why, just said you needed to speak to your housemate and hung up."

"I didn't mean to be rude, but we were having some issues that needed to be resolved." Michiru said lightly as she thought back to when Haruka came to tell her about the little outing with Hotaru.

"I don't really care about that, I want to know why you broke it off?" He said as he took a step toward Michiru and Michiru stepped back against the door. He leaned as close to her as he felt he could get way with. "Don't you like me?"

"Actually, I'm sorry Masato-san but I have feelings for someone else." Michiru spoke in a calm voice, ignoring the lack of distance as best she could. "It wouldn't have been fair to any of us to continue how things were going."

"So that's it?" He asked, as he started to sound disgruntled.

"I'm afraid so." Michiru was becoming eager to get back inside the house.

"Fine!" Masato started to turn but then he turned back with a very angry look. His hands slammed hard against the door on either side of Michiru causing the violin player to jump slightly. "Who is it though, who is so much better?"

"I don't think that is really your business." Michiru said lightly but the man glared at her and Michiru decided it was the only way to get him to leave. "You wont like the answer."

"Who is it?" Masato asked again, his voice still filled with anger and sounding ready to snap. The door opened a creak behind Michiru and Hotaru glanced outside with a worried look. The man looked coldly at the teen. "Go away, now."

"Hotaru, tell the others they didn't have to send you." Michiru said quietly over her shoulder. "Masato-san is a bit upset."

The door shut again and the man glared down at the violin player, not understanding what was just said. Michiru took a deep breath and paused to buy as much time as possible. Just as Masato looked ready to yell again Michiru heard footsteps and the door swung full open. This time Haruka stood in the doorway with a very stern look on her face. She glanced to Michiru first, making sure she hadn't misunderstood the vague message and received a nod.

"Is anything wrong? You seem to have become very loud. Masato-san." The blonde commented, as her eyes seemed to size him up. It was a look Michiru normally only saw the blonde use when she was expecting someone to take a swing at her, a calculation of what the best response would be.

"I was only asking Michiru-san a question." Masato growled out but took a breath when he got the very annoyed look he caused the blonde at his tone. It wasn't as if he didn't know who he was speaking with, both women were famous in their own rights and even if they weren't anyone with interest in Michiru knew of Haruka's temper. He tried to smile at the blonde and spoke again. "I was just asking Michiru-san who exactly she dumped me for, Ten'ou-san."

"Oh?" Haruka's eyebrow went up and she got a wicked grin as she watched the man before her with those teal eyes. "Did she answer you?"

"She said I wouldn't like the answer and that it wasn't my business." Masato answered in a frustrated but truthful manner. He was irritated further still when he noticed that the tall blonde only seemed more amused by this. "What is wrong with wanting to know who I lost to?"

"If you don't want to tell him, I'm sure he wont push the issue." Haruka spoke to Michiru before looking warningly toward Masato again. "Will you, sir?"

"No, actually it's alright Haruka." Michiru said with a sigh as Haruka leaned against the doorframe. Michiru was glad to see the over protective nature there for once, but she was even more grateful that Haruka wasn't going to pressure either choice of response. The blonde gave an air of not caring how the violin player handled this situation but Michiru was sure that she had an opinion.

"Okay, so who is it?" Masato asked impatiently.

"Masato-san, you've already met Ten'ou Haruka." Michiru indicated the tall blonde behind her as he answer but the man didn't seem to get it. With a sigh Michiru questioned the poor man's IQ. "Masato-san its Haruka that I had feelings for."

"You, and the temperamental blonde?" The man asked. Haruka seemed oddly amused by the description of herself. Masato looked back and fourth between the two with a shocked look. He shook his head as if trying to clear it. "Why did you bother with all those guys that are scared of Ten'ou-san now? What was the point?"

"Its personal Masato-san, but I will say I needed time." Michiru spoke again, watching the man for a reaction. The only reaction she got was a disbelieving look and another shake of the head. Masato seemed to have lost all his anger to shock and surprise.

"Oh you two deserve each other." He muttered as he wandered off toward his car.

"What was that supposed to mean?" Haruka asked as she and Michiru turned back toward the inside of the house only to find Setsuna and Hotaru sitting on the stairs.

"It means that you are both frustrating and confusing with a talent for driving people up a wall." Setsuna replied in a friendly tone, Hotaru trying to hold in her laughter at Setsuna comment. "Oh, and congratulations I suppose."

"We knew you two would end up together eventually." Hotaru put in between giggles as she watched the stunned look on both women. Haruka recovered first and Hotaru jumped up as the blonde came toward her. Laughter was heard as Haruka chased the girl up the stairs and out of sight.

"So does this mean everything has been worked out?" Setsuna asked as she regarded the remaining half of the couple.

"No, not exactly." Michiru spoke softly as she gazed up toward the unseen senshi of wind. She looked back to Setsuna and smiled thoughtfully. "But I think the first steps have been taken."

"Let's hope so." Setsuna stood and walked back toward the living room. She paused and looked at Michiru. "I don't think I've seen Haruka this happy in a long time, if ever."

Michiru nodded in silent agreement and started up the stairs. Someone should probably save the senshi of silence from her Haruka-papa's tickle torture. Michiru smiled widely once she found the two, Hotaru sprawled across the hallway floor laughing and Haruka tickling the girl with out mercy. Michiru walked quietly up behind the blonde and poked her in both sides. Haruka jumped out of reaction and soon found the tables turned with two sets of hands tickling her.

In the living room Setsuna smiled mysteriously. Yes, Michiru was right that this wasn't the end of the issues Haruka had been fighting. It was, however, the best of a number of outcomes time could have granted. Setsuna realized the two women would probably never realized how there choices tonight had helped to guide the time line, never realize that things could have as easily gone down the opposing path, but she was still happy that things had worked out. She'd seen the outcome of two major paths the incident could have resulted in, forbidden to interfere after she visited the time gates, and she shuddered at the thought of what could have happened and what could have been lost.

Setsuna smiled again as she picked up her book and opened it again to the page she had stopped on. Hearing the other three senshi upstairs Setsuna thanked fate for allowing her this time away from the gates. For allowing them all this time to breathe between major events.

**Author's Note:**

**Thank you to those who gave me detailed information about where and what mistakes I made: Knight of the Wolf and King of Warlords. Also thank you to all those who reviewed and whom took the time to point out there were errors politely. I love all these reviews.**

**"To Thine Own Self Be True" is actually a quote found on AA, Alcoholics Anonymous coins. They give you one for each year you are sober. I was pretty much raised in an AA hall so that phrase means a lot to me.**

**Quickly I'd like to thank Knight of the Wolf for her detailed and helpful review. I think I have those errors fixed now. I was happily surprised that you actually counted the paragraph it was in so I found it in seconds. Thanks again.**


	7. Epilog

**Epilog: Michiru's Letter**

_Dear Mother and Father,_

_I know you liked Masato-san and I am sure you would like to know why I broke up with him so suddenly. The reason is quite simple: I am in love with another. Mother, I know what you are going to say. Yes, Masato-san came from a well off family and stands to inherit his own company, but that does not change the fact that I do not love the man. Please do not start going on about how he could have taken care of me, as it is simply not necessary._

_Honestly, I have been able to support myself for some time now. My violin career and my paintings have brought me enough money that I could retire tomorrow and not have to work another day of my life. I do not need someone look after me, or to manage my expenses. The fine schools you sent me taught me how to handle expenses easily, and I am more than capable of looking after my own house and adopted daughter._

_I do remember that you once said Hotaru needed a father figure, but it is not true. In fact, Hotaru has a wonderful father figure whom I love very much. If all you wanted was for me to fall in love with a prince charming type who could afford to pay any of my expenses, who will open doors for me and comes from a rich family then you should be happy that I have done just that. The one I love is famous among the racing world, but just as equally skilled with the piano. This person has been there for me for what seems like forever, even forgiving when I ignored our connection and hurt them so badly. Hotaru has adored them for the longest time and I think she would be disappointed if it had not turned out this way._

_I know you will not approve, I know that you raised me to choose just the opposite of what I now am, but I cannot and will not ignore my heart any longer. I love her and yes I did say her. I am deeply in love with Ten'ou Haruka and that is never going to change. I hope that you can accept this, but regardless I will not change. This is my deepest wish and I will no longer turn away from it._

_With love from your daughter,_

_Michiru_

Haruka woke up in a cold sweat after another nightmare. They weren't as frequent anymore but they were still there. She sat up and allowed her head to fall into her waiting hands. Haruka stayed like this as the images flashed through her mind again and the blonde did her best to tell herself it was only a nightmare.

"Haruka?" Michiru's voice questioned as the shorter woman stood from a chair near Haruka's desk and came to sit with her arms lightly wrapped around the blonde's waist. Haruka felt Michiru resting her head against her back and small amount of comfort washed over the blonde. "Another nightmare?"

"Yeah, Michi." Haruka took her hands away from her face and placed them over the violin player's own. It'd been a year since the two had become a couple, and over that year Michiru had been a great help to the blonde. A few months ago they had decided to start sharing a room in the large house, and Haruka had to admit that Michiru's comforting presence had helped her sleep problems. "I'm sorry if I disturbed you."

"Don't be." Michiru yawned and held Haruka just a bit tighter. She let out a content sigh and spoke softly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Maybe in the morning." Haruka said, not ready to relive the nightmare so quickly. She patted one of the small hands and grinned. "Let's try to get some sleep for now."

Michiru nodded as she tried to smother another yawn and let go of her tall love. She watched as Haruka laid back down, then cuddled to the woman's side. Haruka chuckled at the sleepy look the artist now wore and wrapped one arm around her.

"Night Michi." She whispered a few minutes later, though Michiru seemed to have already drifted off. Haruka gazed at her sleeping girlfriend and brushed away some aqua hair from the peaceful face. "Thanks for chasing away the nightmares again."

"Any time, Ruka." Came the sleepy reply. Haruka chuckled again and closed her eyes. She knew she could have made it through with out Michiru that she'd have survived. But there was a difference between surviving and living.

Haruka's teal eyes slowly slid shut and she drifted off into a peaceful sleep. The nightmare would not return tonight.

**Author's Note:**

**Alcoholism is a serious problem that affects not just the alcoholic but also those around them. Most people don't realize the ways it can affect a child unless they have lived it. There are programs not just for alcoholic teens but also for children of alcoholics or for families. If you feel drawn to alcohol or drugs I strongly suggest you speak with someone you trust. Alcohol should be used with caution, if at all, and illegal drugs are illegal for a very good reason.**

**Haruka's brother was based off a real young man, though he lived through it. After the death of his mother he turned to the drug Speed to help push away the hurt. In time he was drinking in combination with the Speed and there were days where no one could wake him. He even went so far as to become a small time dealer to support his habit. Sadly, it wasn't until he landed in jail three times for "Transitory Possession" that he was able to turn away from it. To this day, some three or four years later, people still worry about him. On a happy note though, he has received a degree and stayed "clean". He is now following after his dreams and doing his best to leave the shadows behind.**

**Thank you for reading and for all the reviews.**


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